Does Chocolate Float?
Through a series of events in TALK NERDY TO ME, Charlie and Eve accidentally end up testing the floatability
of chocolate. Audrey and I thought it would be fun to conduct the same experiment on purpose and invite
everyone to join in. Our scientific standards were rigid and uncompromising. Participants were forced to dunk
perfectly good chocolate in glasses or bowls of water, carefully record the results, and then eat the candy.
(Everyone knows you can’t put wet chocolate back in the package. Such is the self-sacrifice required of a scientist.)
Thankfully, a number of intrepid researchers took on the challenge and reported their carefully controlled results.
These results have been studiously analyzed, cross-referenced and tabulated, and here’s what we know – if the
ship goes down and your life preserver is made of Ghiradelli milk chocolate, you have a chance! But if it’s made
of Godiva, you might as well eat the candy, because you’re going under.
You also have a possibility of survival if you’re surrounded by Hershey’s Whoppers or Kit Kat bars.
With Mr. Goodbar and Krackle you’ll stay up for a little while, and then it’s all over. Everything else by Hershey’s
goes immediately to sleep with the fishes.
Only one other kind of candy passed the buoyancy test – Ferrero Rocher’s Chocolate & Nuts. Cadbury’s Turkish
Delight floated halfway up the glass, so you might be able to make a Galileo thermometer with those little suckers,
but they’re pointless as a life preserver. Mars, Nestle, Savoy, Russell Stover, See’s and Tootsie Rolls drop straight to the bottom.
So there you have it – one small step for chocolate, one giant step for sugar overload! Many thanks to the selfless
volunteers who made this study possible. You are truly dedicated to furthering the aims of science.
